Smart Ways to Use Reciprocal Coaching in Your Development

Many coaches are using reciprocal coaching or coaching other participants of coaching classes to develop their coaching skills and to gain the experience hours needed by the accreditation agencies (ICF and EMCC). This is usually a rewarding experience for both sides and we encourage “practice” coaching through our WhatsApp group and our meetups. The benefit of coaching another student of coaching is that both coach and client can reflect on the session professionally and the feedback may be more meaningful to the learner. The drawback is that coaches know “how to be a good client” and the student coach might not experience the difficulties they would encounter with non-coach clients and therefore also not learn how to master them. We recommend having a good mix of clients when you are aiming at developing your coaching skills.

In this blogpost, I want to give some tips on how to make reciprocal coaching (a coaching student coaching another coaching student) work well.

Clarify logistics

Agree on logistics: time, timezones, frequency, duration, rescheduling expectations, platform, scheduling links, confidentiality, use of recordings, transcripts, the use of artificial intelligence etc. Also agree on whether you want this coaching to be truly “reciprocal”, so that you coach each other, or whether you want to have a one-way coaching while the other participant coaches someone else from the WhatsApp group.

Talk about your coaching approach

Before entering the coaching process, interview each other on your theory of change and your coaching approach, just like you would interview a professional coach when entering into a paid coaching relationship. If it is not a fit, say so politely – you would not feel obligated to be coached when you are paying the coach, you are not obligated to be a “guinea pig” for someone who you would not choose if you were paying.

Agree on feedback

The student coach might mention what they are working on and what kind of feedback they are looking for.  The client can think about whether they want to give feedback right after the session or whether they want to give feedback the next session, or if they prefer to stay in the client role and leave the feedback to a mentor.

Agree on what happens, if it is not working

As you are in a learning environment, the student coach might make “mistakes”. They might ask an uncomfortable question or invite the client to explore areas they are not happy to explore. Agree beforehand what will happen if the client starts feeling uncomfortable. As the client, know that you do not have to follow the lead of the student coach – as with paid coaching, you can always say that you don’t like the question and ask the student coach to come up with a better one. You might even stop and reflect together on what is making you uncomfortable and what would be a better question. This is an invaluable learning experience for both.

Make it real

Agree that the coaching will be “real”. The client should bring a topic that they want to make progress on and be a real client. Roleplaying coaching does not work for the learning purposes of the student coach.

Reflect after the session

The student coach and the client might take 10 minutes before the end of the session (if the client is happy to do that) and reflect on questions like these (inspired by Feedback Informed Treatment):

- Did the client feel valued and respected

- Did the coaching session revolve around what the client wanted to talk about

- Did the coaching approach fit the client’s preferences

- What would the client invite the student coach to experiment with next time

Reciprocal coaching can be an enormously valuable part of your development as a coach when it is set up with care. By agreeing on logistics, aligning coaching approaches, setting feedback expectations, planning for discomfort, and treating the work as real coaching rather than roleplay, both partners can learn deeply and safely. Blending reciprocal coaching with practice on non-coach clients offers the richest path: meaningful reflection from peers combined with the unpredictability that real-world clients bring. With intentional design and open communication, reciprocal coaching can become a genuinely transformative learning experience.

If you want to connect with other coaches, maybe find a reciprocal coaching partner, learn about our classes or simply hang out with us, why not come to one of our free meetups and exchanges.

‍