Help - I don't feel like I am making a difference to my client!

A reader of this blog asked me to have a think around this topic and I am happy to comply (short nudge: if there is anything you would like me to write about, why not let me know at info@solutionsacademy.com).

There is a long and a short answer to that question, for me.

The short answer: ask your client.

The client is the only person who can answer that question for you. Now you may be worried about your client confirming your perspective – they may find that they have not received the benefits that they were looking for. Good that you found out when you did! You can use that time to talk about what needs to be different so that the client can achieve what they want to achieve – both what they need to do differently and what you need to be doing differently. Worst case scenario is that you figure out that you are not a good fit and you can recommend a colleague.

The long answer: sit down and have a think

If I were your supervisor, I would probably ask you first, what you want instead of feeling that you are not making enough of a difference: do you want the client to be happy, do you want to be happy with yourself, do you feel that you want to be valuable as a coach,  do you want to get rid of your thoughts around your performance and move toward being present with the client – what exactly are you looking for?

• I would enquire about your partnership process with the client. How often do you check in with them on how the process is working for them? How do you evaluate your frequency of checking in?

• I might also ask you what you need to feel that you are making a difference and how you might partner with the client to get that.

• Another thought could be to compare what you feel is “enough” difference and what the client feels is “enough”? Maybe you are falling into the trap of asking more of yourself than the client is asking?

• I might invite you to reflect on who you hold responsible for what in a coaching partnership if you think this might be a useful angle.

• And maybe, if your thoughts around “making a difference” are getting in the way of being present with the client, how can you move toward presence? What kind of relationship would you like with your thoughts around “not making enough of a difference?”

As always, the secret golden letters on top of a coach’s office are: it all depends. I hope that this blog has made a bit of a difference 😊 – do let us know. Maybe by joining us for a free meetup and exchange?

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