Coaching serendipity

These days, many people seem to focus a lot on planning: they develop routines, healthy habits, have their days mapped out, diet and exercise plans etc. Coaches, too, plan their coaching processes, their calendars and lives. This is a good thing, don’t get me wrong! Plans help us not to forget important things. They also focus our attention on what we want to do rather than leaving our time and attention to be gobbled up by mindless scrolling or succumbing to the attention grabbing industry of social media.

However, in coaching and in life, if we plan too much, there is little space left for discovering the unexpected, for those moments in which an insight, an idea or any other opening appears. In life, we have to be careful not to fill every minute and leave time for nothing, defend the nothing against the encroaching attention grabs by putting our phones and electronics away, so that whatever wants to appear can appear.

One of my favorite illustrations is a story that my piano teacher told me. Her husband was a successful artist. When she scolded him that he should stop slacking and help her with the dishes, he once replied: “While I am doing nothing, I might have an idea that makes us a million!” Not that I want to defend the distribution of tasks in their household, but he does have a point.

In coaching, serendipitous moments of insight and inspiration can only happen when we are in an alert state of “doing nothing”. When we are following our coaching plan, our coaching structure or strategy, we become blind to what may be emerging for the client in that moment. When we are busy with trying to “perform” as a coach, we are also holding a focus that is preventing us from noticing forward (or sideways) movements of the client. (And I am not mentioning the obvious link to our lives, here.)

I am wondering how we can cultivate the quiet alertness that it takes to notice when shifts are happening, when new ideas and insights are emerging. It is an interesting balance. Structure and plans are generally seen as a sign of professionalism, and they are very useful. At the same time they can get in the way.

I hope I am not disappointing you if I leave you with a question rather than an answer: How do you make time for the unexpected ideas and insights in your life and coaching?

If you want to explore these and other questions, learn about our courses or just hang out with a bunch of cool people, why not come to one of our free meetup and exchange sessions?