Signs not steps

In Solution Focused coaching, we ask clients for a lot of observations. We ask them to notice:

- What they would like to continue to happen

- What they have already achieved that is going in the right direction

- What other people might notice when they are making progress

- How they would respond to what other people may notice

- Etc.

This is different from describing “steps forward”. When we are talking about “next steps”, to me it seems more predictable and linear: “I will do this in order to achieve this”. Noticing what could happen is more experimental and more attuned to the complex nature of our world and interactions.

To me, there is also a difference in stance. When I am observing “signs”, I am focusing outward and am purposefully engaging with the world by paying attention. When I am “making steps”, I am doing something to affect something else. You might say, one is more about being, the other is more about doing? Maybe.

I’m not saying that action plans and steps are bad, just maybe not needed all the time. Especially at the end of a coaching session “I will carefully observe…” is a really good outcome that opens the client to more interactions of the kind that they would like.

This is especially valuable in coachings that are about meaning, purpose, insight rather than planning and follow-through. To me, these are more interesting, but, of course, it is the clients who decide on what is most useful to them at any given time.

Let’s say a client would like to explore what they want from the next phase of their life. I don’t think you can figure this out in a coaching session in abstraction. I know there are many tools to do that like analyzing the values or a wheel of life etc. Most of these tools move from the concrete to the abstract, from “what the client values” (a verb) to “the values” (a noun). What someone want, however, is concrete. It is made up of all the situations in which they experience: “Yes, this is what I want from my life” rather than the theory of “the wanted”.

I think that a reflective observation of “all the signs that tell me that this is what I want” between sessions are more valuable than any abstraction. Beauty is in the small things, the hints, the murmurs and the longing that raises its head in curiosity when we get a glimpse of what it is that we are looking for.

Maybe I have inspired you to go looking for the signs or invite your clients to go on their treasure hunt? If yes, how would you notice?

If you want to experiment with these kinds of things, learn about our courses or hang out with some cool people, why don’t you join us for one of our free meetups and exchanges?