But I know!! Why should I not tell?? 4 reasons for not giving advice

I recently gave an online keynote on “the art of conversation” for a group of around 50 people from all over the world with very diverse backgrounds. One thing I focused on was how being curious and asking questions is usually a better way to lead conversations then giving advice or suggestions. This can be really counterintuitive: when I have good advice, why not share it with whomever I’m talking to?

Here are a couple of reasons:
1. Solutions are like apple pie — self-made is best

if you ask questions rather than giving advice your counterparts will be invited to think for themselves and will be able to develop ideas and solutions which fit their personal circumstances. Only they know exactly what kind of idea is going to help them.

2. Yes, but

“Mom, I’m bored!”, those of us who are around children know this situation: the kid’s bored and you are turning into a suggestion machine: “Why don’t you go play outside?” “No, I don’t want to” “How about drawing?” “That’s so boring!” — This will go on ad infinitum. When you suggest or give advice there is always a danger of a never ending cycle of “Yes, but”. We all know these meetings went problem solving turns into a “Yes, but” – fest. They are annoying and lead nowhere. So the best thing to do when you find yourself in this situation is to step back and ask a question.

3. Teach me how to fish

We all know the saying: “Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day, teach them how to fish and he will have food every day”. When we invite people to think through their own issues and are curious about how they will solve them, we further their abilities. Plus, we might even learn something ourselves when they develop their own solutions.

4. It won’t be your fault

Last but not least, if the solution your counterpart came up with doesn’t work, they will only have themselves to blame 😊

. And again, if you are foreseeing that what they are attempting won’t work, it’s best to phrase that as a question rather than an objection. “Have you thought about …” Has much less of a likelihood to become a “Yes, but”-game then “this won’t work because…”

If you want to explore more around how we can lead constructive conversations join us at our free coaching meet up an exchange:

To register click here:
>>> https://www.solutionsacademy.com/registration/ <<<

What’s a Rich Text element?

The rich text element allows you to create and format headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, images, and video all in one place instead of having to add and format them individually. Just double-click and easily create content.

Static and dynamic content editing

A rich text element can be used with static or dynamic content. For static content, just drop it into any page and begin editing. For dynamic content, add a rich text field to any collection and then connect a rich text element to that field in the settings panel. Voila!

How to customize formatting for each rich text

Headings, paragraphs, blockquotes, figures, images, and figure captions can all be styled after a class is added to the rich text element using the "When inside of" nested selector system.


No items found.

Popular Posts

Subscribe weekly news