I know, I know, I know — your clients never get on your nerves. They shouldn’t, right? I mean, as coaches, we are these saintly people who don’t have personal preferences, we have gazillion tons of patience, look at everyone with an appreciative eye, always….. *looking around and asking myself about whom I am talking – certainly not me*

So what happens if the very unlikely thing happens and clients do get on your nerves? How do we manage to suspend judgement?

Here is what works for me:

  1. Identify what is bugging me in concrete descriptions: “He often cancels appointments very late. He speaks very harshly about his direct reports. He wants to book the sessions manually via 30 emails back and forth rather than using my booking system”
  2. Separate the description from the interpretations: “He does not respect my time. He is an arrogant *insert favorite expletive*. He is disrespectful and does not stick to rules”. 
  3. Deal with the descriptions: I can remind him of my cancellation policies, firmly but in a friendly way. I can share my observation and ask for his feedback. I can ask him politely to use my booking system. Basically treat him like I would treat anyone else.
  4. Reflect on the good reasons he might have his behavior: He is very busy. He wants high performance and has not yet managed to create an environment in which this happens. He is not experienced with technology, yet (… the power of yet!!! …)
  5. Acknowledge the compassion that arises when I reflect on the good reasons and realize that it may very well have nothing to do with me
  6. Remember that we do have a good time and he makes progress when we meet

You probably have different ways of doing the same thing – do come to one of our free coaching meetup and exchanges and let us know.

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